Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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