haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
