May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
