So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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