I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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