If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My dick has a subreddit
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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