I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
