he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
