I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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