she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
