After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
