Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
