I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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