Slut skills are useful in every country.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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