oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
