last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
