Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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