Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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