I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
