Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
