the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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