i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just want nice things and good sex
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
