Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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