Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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