You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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