...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
