There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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