JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
