It's Friday. Sex?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
