Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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