love makes seman taste better
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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