im holly from the hills drunk
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
