are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize