Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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