I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
