i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
