btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
