Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
