god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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