real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
