i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
