I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
