i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize