He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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