Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
