I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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