I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You ate ashes out of my bong
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
