worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
