I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
