At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize
