she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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