you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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