I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
