in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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