everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
