Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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