If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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