hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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