we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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