just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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