so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
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