my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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